Defying Gravity

The Broadway show Wicked is in town this month, and I have tickets to see it.  It wasn't my original plan, but I am planning to take The Girl to see it.  She's quite the budding diva - and I've been playing the songs her entire life.  So even though she's a wee bit on the young side, we are going to have a Mommy-Daughter date.

To say she is excited is a tremendous understatement.

In preparation, she and I have been listening to the soundtrack non-stop.  Our current favorite song is the show stopper "Defying Gravity."  We've listened to it about 80 times in the last week or so, and I'm happy to report that I can almost get through it without tearing up now.  Now, I can hear you saying, What doesn't make Rhonda tear up these days?  To which I reply, "Not a whole lot, thankyouverymuch, and I ain't ashamed of it."

Why is it that this song strikes such a cord with me?  Like so many of the songs that have popped up on my playlist lately (see the iTunes Divination entry for further detail on my theory of this), this song has the feel of an anthem of independence.  It beautifully captures the heart swelling possibility, the elation, and the pride in taking a leap on your own, but it also hints at the danger and the menace one feels by taking such a step.  It's not an easy or effortless thing to do, but it's exhilarating to try.  Give it a listen and see if you agree:

Something has changed within me. Something is not the same,
I'm though with playing by the rules of Someone else's games.
Too late for second guessing.  Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts, Close my eyes and leap

It's time to try defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity
And you won't bring me down

I'm through accepting limits, Cause someone says they're so
Some things I cannot change but 'till I Try I'll never know
Too long I've been afraid of Losing love I guess I've lost
Well if that's love it comes Too much to high a cost

I'd sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye I'm defying gravity
I think I'll try defying gravity
And you won't bring me down

So if you care to find me Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately: "Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"
And if I'm flying solo, At least I'm flying free.
To those who'd ground me, Take a message back from me 

Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown! 

And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever gonna bring me down!

 It's that second verse that gets me every time.  I'm through accepting limits/ 'cause someone says they're so./Some things I cannot change/ but 'til I try, I'll never know.  That certainty and defiance are so admirable.  She's breaking out of the role someone cast her in long ago.  But it's the next bot that really resonates with me:

Too long I've been afraid of/ losing love I guess I've lost./ Well if that's love/ it comes at much too high a cost...  As a woman who has spent the better part of 40 years being afraid of losing love - either from colleagues, peers, friends or lovers - I  can tell you that the cost of that mindset is very, very high.  In fact, if one isn't too careful, it will bleed you dry before you know it.  So the moment when one realizes that 1.) it's probably already a lost cause if you have to hold on desperately for it  and 2) something you have to cling to for dear life just to keep isn't worth the cost it's incredibly liberating.  It can feel like soaring.

The gravity of expectation and obligation is strong, and when one finds a way to break free and defy that pull, that is cause for celebration indeed.