Staring Down Stupid Phone

January 29, 2015

Stupid Phone used to be my friend. She and I would commune for hours because she connected me to you. Back then, she was seldom silent. From rising until sleep, she was my constant companion - delivering your messages faithfully.

Even when romance was shelved, she delivered your voice - wry and earnest - to me every day. Without fail.

These days, the bitch has turned on me. There is no friendly buzz at the beginning of the day. She sits stubbornly silent as I trudge through the work day. And at night. At night, she stares me down - defiantly silent.

"You know what to do to make me speak again," Stupid Phone seems to taunt. And I am tempted. But I know there is no satisfaction with that. It's just an empty promise of hers. Because while she can deliver a shadow of you, she can't bring back the version who loved me. And if I can't have that, I will accept no consolation prize.

So I show you my love with silence - space - time, just as you showed me yours by speaking up. Stupid Phone doesn't understand love, sacrifice, service. She only knows NOW - want - have.

I thought she was my ally, but she is a false one.

"I can give you what you desire," Stupid Phone whispers. She doesn't care about my well-being or yours. She tempts me with what it is I think I want.

But it is her silence that we both need.