Haunting

Now that all has been said and done, I have to decide what to do with all these remnants of memory. When I was with you, I was convinced that you were my forever, so every place we went, every thing we did had a sense of importance. It all went into the memory banks. Everything was significant.

There's not a place I can go that is untainted by your memory. So what to do? Do I avoid those places? If so, I'm going to have to leave town. I let you into every special place I had. To avoid them would mean not to go anywhere.

Since avoidance isn't an option, I've been consciously seeking them out. Going to those places on purpose, as if my presence will chase your ghost away.

Sometimes, it works. There are places I can go that are mine once again.

That makes me feel a little better when I come upon those spots that will always be yours. Those locations are so thoroughly haunted that I have no choice but to let the ghosts have them. They are the ones that I pass by with a chill in my heart and the sting of tears. [Tears? Seriously?! After all this, still the tears?]

You will always be there in my memory. So rather than fight it, I let my own past self go there too - just for a moment. It's then that I remember that for a while, there was joy and there was love. And I take that moment to be grateful for the sting of tears. They remind me that I am still here. Still alive. Still aware. They are the gift from my past me.

Without "then" there is no "now." And with that realization, those ghosts are a little less scary.