January 15, 2015
These days, it's only upon waking that the longing really kicks in. That moment while I linger on the border between consciousness and dreams, when Logic is still sleeping, is when my Heart and Desire conspire to bring you back.
They recall vividly how we used to reach for each other in the dim pre-dawn light, and how it felt to have your arms envelop me while I was still half asleep. They haven't forgiven me yet for letting you go - so they seem to conjure you at every opportunity.
There are parts of me who are furious at your departure. Hell, Pussy hasn't spoken to me in weeks. It will be a long time before she comes to terms with your absence.
During the day, Logic is strong, awake and aware, telling them all that it is necessary - essential - for growth, healing, development. And in the daylight, they all grudgingly agree. But as night ebbs and dreams dissolve into awareness - at those hazy edges, the troops rally to bring you back, to some how resurrect you from my memory and make you real again.
At those times, even Logic turns the other way - pretends to be asleep and allows the wanting to just flow. It's the only time all the pieces come to a unanimous agreement and like the mists of morning, that eventually evaporates in the rising sun.
No comments:
Post a Comment