Saturday, March 28, 2015

Revisionist History



Now that all is clear, I have to fight the urge to go back and revise my history. Would I have been so tender if I had known that the "time" and "space" you were taking was in another woman's bed?
Would I have wept so hard for you if I had known the truth of your duplicity?

Maybe. Maybe not.

I like to think my feelings were mine, and not dependent on the situation or context. Though, I admit it stings to know I cried for a man who only existed in my imagination.  That is who I mourn for now: the man I thought I knew. The man worthy of the love and tears I spent.

He's the one I long for, and the knowledge that he never existed is both blessing and curse.

So I feel foolish. But I also feel free.  I can now cut ties without guilt or regret. The time I spent wasn't wasted, because it was invested in me.

How's that for revision?

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