What is The Point in This?

February 1, 2015

Why do I write the plaintive messages? These love letters to a man who will not see them, and even if he does, is unlikely to be moved by them?

At first they were hopeful, almost romantic. A little message in a bottle, thrown out to sea, carrying all the things that I wanted you to know during our time apart. I imagined that you would pluck the little bottle from the water, read the words, and know you were loved.

Later, they became statements of purpose, to prove (prove to who?) that I was coping during our time of estrangement. All the things I wanted you to know, typed up just for you. I imagined you reading them and being impressed at my progress.

Now these words feel less like a romantic message in a bottle and more like a huge billboard on the side of a road that you never travel.  They are not the powerful messages I had hoped they would be.

So who is this for, exactly? What is the point to this? And why am I spending my time doing this?

Ah, yes.  I do this for me.